What Does It Mean To Find Balance?

Find Balance

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It’s been a while since I’ve truly sat down with my keyboard and shared my heart. I think that it’s an important aspect of this blog and creates an atmosphere for connection with others who may be going through similar things. So here we are, this is going to be a vulnerable one. Lately life has been tough. It feels like hardship is hitting those I love and my circle of people from every aspect. Whether it be the flu, depression, financial hardship, family members with health problems, relational problems, I can go on. Personally I’ve really been struggling with balance. That is the main topic I want to speak about in today’s post. 

Going To Therapy

Balance

Recently I started seeing a therapist because I think that it’s something we should all do at some point in our life. It’s not necessary to wait for some tragic or extreme circumstance to happen in your life. I actually think it’s better to start when you’re in a good place. That way you have a relationship established. God forbid, if something extreme happens, you already have somebody to go to and they are caught up with your life.

 The last time I met with my therapist, we discussed the topic of balance. You see, lately I’ve been really struggling with maintaining the healthy routines and habits that I worked super hard to establish. There are certain things that when I am consistent with, I feel like I’m living my best life. However, when I let that consistency go, I feel like I’m slipping back into the worst form of myself. My therapist pointed out that this is a very black or white, perfectionist personality to have. And it’s not setting me up for success. 

How Can You Find A Healthy Balance?

Balance

That leaves me in the space that I am at today. Trying to find a healthy balance between: being consistent and disciplined with healthy habits, but also allowing myself grace for being human and not being perfect. I still feel like I’m stuck in this all in or all out perspective. The only way I’ve ever had success pulling myself out from the negative side is by being all the way positive. The more I try to find ‘balance’, the more I feel like I am just excusing the negative behaviors that only drag me further down.  It’s a cycle.

Not being active, not making the best nutritional choices, not prioritizing time in the Bible and time with Jesus, not seeing or spending one-on-one time with friends, all contribute to the way I’m feeling; which further perpetrate these negative behaviors. I’m so tired of being in this season and state of mind. In the past when I’ve been here, I’ve pulled myself out by being disciplined and finding structure.

Living With A Perfectionist Personality

Balance

This is where my perfectionist, black-and-white personality comes back into the picture. I feel like I need to wipe my schedule clean of everything except for what I want to focus on. Choosing what is the most important to focus on is the hardest part. Whether it’s establishing a healthy nutritional diet, an activity routine, waking up early and being in the word, attending church on Sundays and community group on Wednesdays and volunteering in the kids ministry. Spending a lot of time working on the blog and furthering my freelancing career, all while caring for my Grandma 40 hours a week and a few other side gigs I have as well. 

All of these things are great, wonderful, important things in my life. However managing my schedule in a way that provides balance to my life is proving to be the most difficult task. When I start to overload my plate, I loose control of certain healthy habits and slip back into what is comfortable and easy. Just choosing to eat out, or snacking, skipping workouts, bailing on social activities, etc. Instead of canceling my entire life in order to be structured in one area, I’m trying to find a healthy balance between it all.

So What Is The Point Here?

Balance

So why am I sharing this all with you? I’m sure someone out there relates. It’s not been my favorite season of life. 2020 has some looking up to do. And I started this blog to create connections. In the past I would look for articles and bloggers who I could relate to and struggled finding them. Therefore I created this space of my own. Hoping that other’s would be looking too! So if that is you, and you are struggling with finding balance in your life, know that you aren’t alone.

If there is one thing that has been my stronghold in this entire season, it’s been Jesus. Knowing that my worth, value, and identity is in Christ and what He has done for me. I will forever be thankful for that truth. There are times that I am tempted to skip church, and skip Bible study because I am not feeling up to it. But those are the very things that will revive me and breathe life into my spirit.

What Am I Going To Do Now?

Life Balance

I started writing this post on my phone almost a month ago, and it’s been pushing on my heart ever since. It’s hard being open and vulnerable about these things. However writing it out has always been a safe space for me. Everyday I am continuing to pursue a life filled with healthy habits. Part of that is knowing how to be balanced and give myself grace on the days I can’t be perfect.

I think it is in these moments that God is actually changing me for the better. Pruning me so I can bloom. It’s when life feels uncomfortable that you know you’re growing! So even though I am SO READY for this season to be over, I am trying to lean into it. Listen to what God is trying to tell me, and continue on this path to finding balance in my routine.

How Can You Respond?

Feel free to leave a comment or email me personally if you are going through something similar or have in the past! I’d love to connect with more of you who read these less exciting posts not about the beauty world. Those are fun too! But these are just as important.

xoxo Aly

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